en English

Yesterday, I spent the evening with a young trans woman who joined our family for some food, wine and chat. I have worked exclusively with trans people since 2015 and I never cease to be inspired and humbled by the stories I hear and the journeys that I am invited to join.

This trans woman did not have a long or relentless history of gender dysphoria, and she hadn’t waited for years to transition. But at the age of 37 something clicked into place and she realised that she needed to live her life authentically.

She showed me photos of her a few years ago. When she presented male to the world she had married twice and already had a varied career in journalism, video game design and social media. Yet, despite her success, she knew that she should live her life as a woman. Now, looking back, she has never been happier. She shared with me how her family had reacted to her different identity. How she enjoys shopping for dresses with her mother, how her grandmother with early dementia did not raise an eyebrow, how her younger brother enjoys his older sister.


I watched the dynamics in my dining room as we drank wine, ate Christmas food, laughed at jokes and played games. My 20 year old son related to her with ease, he had not initially known that her gender was anything other than female, and he joked and laughed with her as he would with any other young woman. When she started sharing stories of her transition, he got an insight into his mother’s work in real time.


This afternoon and evening spent in the company of this young lady, her openness and generosity in sharing her experiences once again brought home the privilege I feel to be involved with the trans community.

No two humans are the same, our gender identity, our sexuality, the colour of our skin. We have different personalities, experiences, assets and skills. We all wear our identity differently, and that is what makes us so uniquely human.

My Christmas message to those who judge those whose gender does not match the one they were assigned at birth is simple: Open your eyes, reach out and listen and learn. To shun or hurt this community of people who have already been dealt a challenging hand, does nothing but cause further pain. Embracing them on the other hand is incredibly enriching.

My Christmas message to anyone who is questioning their gender is: Listen to your heart, look in the mirror and see past the person staring back, past the version of you that you present to the world to the true you. Whoever that is, is OK.

My Christmas message to anyone who has the honour to be in a role that cares for, or enables people to live their life more happily by embracing their gender is simply: believe and support them. Use your position of power, knowledge or expertise to assist them, and learn all you can from them, so you can go on to understand more about the deep diversity of humans.

So, I raise my morning cup of tea to the lovely young woman who shared our family home last night, and I wish her a very Merry Christmas.




Dr Helen Webberley is the founder of GenderGP. A passionate advocate for the transgender community, she continues to campaign for real change in the way that trans people are treated in society and particularly in relation to the barriers they face when accessing healthcare. Dr Webberley believes in gender-affirmative care and that the individual is the expert in their own gender identity.



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