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As lead counsellor with GGP you might expect to hear that I have been managing my journey to HRT through our services. Well, you would be wrong. I took the decision, three years ago, to follow the NHS pathway to treatment. Here I wanted to share my experiences with you in the hope that you will see you are not alone.
We’ve all seen it in the movies, when an epiphany strikes.
The camera zooms into the shocked, frozen face with a dramatic orchestral crescendo. Well, when my one and only epiphany struck me just eight weeks ago today. There were no cameras, and the only music playing was “You’ll be back” from Hamilton.
I cannot imagine ever wearing the smallest item of male clothing or presenting any way as male. I can hardly even recall living as a man all those years. It’s as if my old self is someone I knew about but have never met.
I have vague dreams of another life, a very different, less happy, less content and incomplete life.
Then I realise those are not my dreams but memories of my past.
As a parent we’re supposed to love and support our children. It’s our instinct to go all “Tiger mum” and use our voices to “ROAR” away anything that hurts them, anything that causes them emotional or physical pain.
I got into bed for the first night on my new journey. I could just feel the patch on my right thigh and, as I drifted off into a deep sleep, I wondered what life would be like in the coming years. What seemed like only moments later I suddenly woke up.
The reality is that putting yourself through all the medical processes and making all the personal changes in the world doesn’t guarantee that you will ever fully become the person you had envisaged. But what does happen is a gradual coalescing of all the changes, both mental and physical. The old you merging into a new you with whom you feel at one and at peace.
It is good to read positive stories about people who have transitioned and now live 24/7 in their true gender. For those of us who are in the midst of transitioning, however, and are still spinning plates, this concept feels some way off. I fall into that ‘category’ so I wanted to share some of my experiences, in the hope that they might resonate with others in my position.
What a difference a year makes. Four stone lighter and feeling great. I have been on hormones for six months now and I am off to Thailand for some top half surgery next month. Then hopefully March next year back over for my full srs change. I have never been happier and my wife and family have been fantastic. All my friends have had no problems with my change and life is good.
I was born in 1952, when food rationing was still in existence. I lived with my parents, together with my older sister in an old, cold, four-roomed cottage, deep in the English countryside.
As it has been over a year since I realised my gender identity as a woman, it seemed appropriate to look back on my transition and recall the steps I have taken on the road to becoming the person I kept locked away within myself for a very long time.
The unhappy, frustrated, angry, dysfunctional person seems to have gone. Its like the fog has lifted and I am seeing and thinking so much more clearly. I am really feeling like I am becoming the woman I should have always been. For the very first time in my life I am liking myself. After years of self hatred I like what I see when I look in the mirror and more importantly perhaps I am liking the person that I am.
In a recent Instagram post, poet @reecelyons_ revealed that, since it was published by the i-newspaper, her performance at the Roundhouse has been shared more than 1.5 million times.
We think its brilliant, so we asked her if we could share her story with our community – she said yes.
As a small child, I never felt that I had to conform to gender stereotypes. No one ever had anything to say about what I chose to wear or how I wanted to spend my time, they just let me be myself.
It was a sunny day. I turned the left rear corner of a white wooden garage and pushed between bushes on my right and the garage wall. Reaching the front corner, I saw a small backyard lawn and the rear of an arrow-flight house. Immediately in front of me were two wooden lawn chairs, as white as the garage, with vertical and oblique slats in a fan-pattern for backs.
In The Media
We get regular coverage in the international, national and community press. Our aim is to raise the profile and issues through all media outlets. Through these platforms, we will raise awareness and understanding for the Transgender community.